02.28.05
Control
Why is it that when I get around all my friends and we start drinking that I start to neglect the one person that I really care about the most? I don’t know if it’s because I don’t see my friends as much as I see her so I feel like I have to treat them better or what the deal is. I have to stop thinking that I can please everybody and just consider her feelings more when we’re hanging out with everyone.
I tell her all the time that she’s the greatest thing in the world, which I truly believe, but then when we go out in a crowd I make her feel like crap sometimes. I need to treat her the same way I always try to treat her and not leave her feeling awful like I can tend to do unintentionally.
We really do get along great and I think we’re perfect for each other. We really do relate on so many levels that it’s scary sometimes. I know that I’ve found what love is with her.
On another note, (and another bad pun) I’ve started playing guitar a lot more lately and I really want to keep that up. I’ve known so many people that have been playing for the longest time and were really good and then they just gave up playing altogether. I don’t want to become one of those people. In the words of Van Halen, I gotta finish what I started.
I want to do everything I can to the best of my potential and I’m willing to put in the time and the effort to do that. But sometimes I realize that I have to control myself and my actions to think about others first. And while I may step on some toes I have to think about the people that really matter first.